Angry Series: 3 Signs you're a savage woman in relationships
So today, we're talking about a femme fatale. Are you one? The more I got to thinking and talking about it, I realized the real word I need to use was savage. And so, that's the word that I am going to use. But first let's get some running definitions. What is a femme fatale?
A femme fatale is a woman who is seductive, but she ultimately brings disaster. Think, circa Taylor Swift when she sang Blank Space:
'Baby I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream.'
That is exactly what a savage is. A woman or an individual who just doesn't care, they're reckless with people's things, emotions, you name it. They can seduce and manipulate into a dramatic disaster.
So let's talk about how do you know if you are either, a male - in a relationship with a savage woman or if you are THE savage and you want to indeed confirm, I've got you covered. Here are three signs to look for:
1.) If you or your partner lacks empathy. That's all sexy for, if you have an attitude or anger towards men. You can't/ you don't feel for men. No effs left to give. You make general negative statements like ' All men are dogs' and 'All men cheat'
2.) You still tend to engage in unhealthy relationships. So because you don't really respect men, you tend to get in relationships or have a history of unhealthy & toxic relationships. Overtime, this cycle can actually lead you to having less empathy for men! For an example, lets just say that you are in a relationship and your partner is talking in a negative way towards you. Over time, you may choose to stay in that relationship, but you'll chew him out on the regular. You begin to lose respect for not only him, but men in general - or men that have similar characteristics (assertive, voice opinions, etc.)
3.) You stop believing in healthy love. You don't believe you're capable or men are capable of having a good solid relationship. You don't really think that falling in love will happen to you. You keep a negative attitude towards, not only men or your partners, while giving up on the idea of having a good relationship. As a therapist- I tend to see these consequences with women who jump into relationship, into relationship, into relationship. They keep going through the same cycle. Or they' become really angry because they can't find a man that is worth investing or values them. And it's really frustrating for the savage woman. Consequently, they also emit that type of toxic energy when they meet new people.
All of those signs interact with each other over time. It can really grow an unhealthy view of relationships. Also, it can get you the title of being a savage. Let's talk about three ways you can move on to maybe have a healthier view. Here's some places to start.
1.) Talk to someone. If you really think you have a pattern going on with relationships, it's good to sit down with someone like a therapist or a really good mentor you trust- NOT a friend that is also in the same boat you're in, ok? Someone that's unbiased who can give you a really clear view of your history, to help you make connections in places you haven't been able to see.
2.) Start thinking about what is important in your relationships. Almost 90% of people that I work with, especially women, one of the first few things that I ask them to do is to tell me what their values are. And so specifically, you want to look at what are some things you will accept in a relationship that are healthy, and what are something that you no longer accept.
3) Treat people assertively. Most people know that I am really big on communication skills. One of the biggest things that I teach in trainings is how to talk to people! Learning how to finesse people (communicate your needs respectively) Not in a manipulative way. Just because somebody responds to you in a particular way, is not a license to lash back in that way.
To be assertive means = I respect myself, but I also respect you. I'm not going to talk trash about myself and I'm not going to talk trash about you. I'm not going to let you talk trash about me, but I'm not going to disrespect you in the process of me standing up for myself.
Does that mean sense? What do you guys think about that? Do you think that some of this is horse crap? Do you think that some of this is legit? Put some comments, honestly, put some comments.
If you're an angry woman and you think you might need some work in this area, please go to my website or look at some of my services on the facebook page so you're able to get connected with me. I can help you to move forward and past some of these issues that might be preventing you from getting into a truly healthy relationship.
Want to watch my live video over this topic? Head to my facebook page to see the visuals.