Tuesday, February 23, 2016

All You Need is Love: Love & Boundaries (Your Turn!)


How have you all been enjoying this series? I hope it's brought some encouragement and insight into the importance of love. Since February is such a short month we are wrapping up this series. But we couldn't end it without talking about the healthy connection between loving ourselves and loving others.


Unfortunately, as much as I wish I could leave love as a happy and blissful emotion, I couldn't neglect the dangers of a poor connection between self love and unhealthy love for others. Boundaries help us to manage our relationships and protect ourselves from toxic issues. When we love ourselves and can demonstrate it - we are easily able to create and maintain healthy boundaries to guard our hearts.

When we neglect ourselves it's easier for us to blur or have inconsistent boundaries. Do any of these sound familiar to you?

1.) Sara and her mother fight regularly and argue about Sara's parenting style. Sara feels insecure about being a mother and really desires her mother to support her so she regularly engages her mother, although her mother talks down to her or criticizes her. She finds herself loving and resenting her mother at times.
2.) Jackie enjoys spending time with her husband and really loves him. He tends to fulfill his needs and deny hers regularly. He expects honor, respect and loyalty, however he impulsively makes decision without Jackie, overspending money, carelessly flirting with other women, and blaming problems in their marriage on Jackie. She finds herself trying to passively endure her husband's treatment because she loves him, but finds herself also resenting him.
3.) Danielle has been best friends with Sophia for many years and she truly values their friendship. However over the years Danielle has felt used, manipulated and treated unfairly by Sophia. Danielle struggles with confronting Sophia in fear of losing their friendship so she endures the treatment, and sometimes gets angry or resentful with Sophia - and tends takes this out on her other friends.

These are common situations that show a lack of boundaries, lack of communication and end up with feelings of resentment. These women could love themselves and struggle with setting boundaries, but most likely they are insecure about their abilities to be assertive so they in turn continue enduring toxic situations.

How many of us have felt like this before? What would you do in this situation? How could handle this and set boundaries? Comment your thoughts below, on my Facebook page or even in your own journal!  Next week I will revisit these situations and provide some basic boundary setting examples to deal with these specific statements. Your turn!