Get your ISH together: Evaluate and keep it moving
In therapy I evaluate my clients. I've already established what metrics to use and what it will look like if my client is successful. During evaluations I'm not only evaluating our progress but how my interventions are working to even help the client. I need to see on my end if things are working in conjunction with the client.
Very similarly when we evaluate our progress we need to ask ourselves are a few things.
1. Is this ish even working?
Don't be blind to this. Many of us can carry on for AWHILE knowing darn well this ish isn't working. (many of us gifted to do this in relationships as well....that's another post though) We have to be brutally honest with ourselves? Sometimes we can invest so much energy in ISH that's just not for us.
2. If this ish isn't working - what interventions aren't working on my part?
Taking a good look at what saboteurs and behaviors on your part. Honestly - what did you say what wanted to do when you broke it down, but didn't follow through or realized it wasn't compatible.
3. If I'm suffering through this - is this ish worth my suffering?
As Mark Manson states in 'Subtle art of not giving a f*ck' - he discusses the importance of suffering in our lives and that we all have to endure it. However, he also addresses that sometimes we need to ask ourselves WHAT are we suffering for. And is it worth it. Why spend your valuable and limited time working on ish that really doesn't bring you any type of return on your investment?
As a parent, I suffer. Yes, I wanted kids (for the most part). However I suffer. Kids drive me crazy though. Most people who know me KNOW I actually dislike any therapy with kids. They just boggle my mind with their little nonsensical ways and inability to reason...I digress. My point being, I also don't mind suffering for them. I love them dearly and know - the return of creating, loving, and pouring into these little blank slates is worth every bit of it.
If you get through these three questions and realize that although your ish hasn't been working - but it's worth the suffering. You'll need to go back to the drawing board and think of other ways to implement it. This can be mental/cognitive thought changes or physical habits to change.
If you get through these three questions and realize your ish hasn't been working AND you don't want to suffer with it. It's time to go back to my first blog post in this series and re-evaluate your list of ish to get together. Perhaps it's a better time to refocus on something else. Especially if this season, you don't want to suffer through your current ish.
As an individual who wants to be healthy, going to the gym - not worth my suffering. I just don't value the act of going to the gym. However, once I realized my gym goals ish wasn't working - I had to evaluate it.
1. It wasn't working. At all.
2. It wasn't working because I hated getting up early to do it. I didn't have the discipline to go at night. I felt awkward going.
3. It wasn't worth my suffering. Instead - I re-evaluated my ish and decided I'd not go to the gym and just focus on smaller healthy habits. Like making smoothies, using my fitbit to watch my steps, and get better sleep. This ish worked for me.
IN CONCLUSION: No matter your ish to get together - many of us get bogged down along the way, mainly because we first overfill our plates with ish, secondly don't have good priorities so we invest in ish that doesn't really give us ROI, and lastly we don't follow the process of evaluating and making change or changing the focus all together. You can only imagine it leads any individual into feeling stuck.
Sometimes we need accountability, help focusing, and steps to making better progress. I've created some personal development courses to help individuals with specific and common areas of feeling stuck. I provide the steps, accountability and encouragement for those of us who need support as we navigate getting our ish together. You can get more information about my services HERE.
In the meantime, get you ISH TOGETHER :-)