Thursday, March 22, 2018

Angry Series: 3 Terrible Ways to Communicate Your Needs



Do you communicate your needs effectively? Do you come off too aggressively or maybe too passively? Here are 3 terrible ways to communicate your needs.


There are three terrible ways to communicate your needs. We’re all human beings and we all have needs and we all have to communicate them to people, in order to get our needs met. There’s a way that we can communicate our needs that is completely unhealthy and so let’s review these top three ways.


  1. Aggressive communication. To be aggressive means that you are disrespecting someone so that you can feel respected.
    1. You can be verbally aggressive to people when you’re talking to them – criticizing, blaming, judging.
    2. You can be aggressive in your behavior which can make you intimidating to people.
    3. Physical aggression is a form of aggression. It’s disrespectful to the person you’re trying to communicate with.


  1. Passive communication. You are disrespecting yourself so that someone else can feel respected. You’re suppressing your needs in order to let someone else have their needs met. Usually when someone’s being aggressive there’s going to be that person whose being passive. After a while, passive behavior can start to encourage bitterness and unforgiveness.


  1. Passive-aggressive communication. This means that you are indirectly being disrespectful to someone so that you can feel respected directly. A lot of people consider this  ‘throwing shade’ or ‘being petty’.


If you are going to communicate your needs, you want to be assertive. This is what I train people to do better. To be assertive is to respect myself but also respect you. I can stand up for my needs but I also respect and see where you’re coming from and I don’t have to tear you down,indirectly hit you, or lower myself in order for us both to get our needs met.



If you struggle at communication and that’s really a hard place for you, please feel free to reach out to me. I specialize in working with women who need to find their voice, who are looking for ways to set boundaries, to be assertive. If you think you might need some work in this area, please go to my website or look at some of my services on the facebook page so you’re able to get connected with me. I can help you move forward and past some of these issues that might be preventing you from getting into a truly healthy relationship.
Want to watch my live video over this topic? Head to my facebook page to see the visuals.